Simple Parenting Truths
May 22nd, 2009
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by Heather Forbes · Filed Under: Heather's Thoughts · Parenting Neuroscience · Parenting eNewsletter
As I continue to grow in my own process, learning and experiencing love to a greater level each day, I am including in this month’s eNewsletter my latest reflections. Sometimes we have to step back from the grind of it all and reposition ourselves from a broader perspective. Sometimes simple statements of the truth can have a greater impact than lengthy dissertations of examples. I shared these reflections with the ladies who attended my Mom’s Conference last weekend and received positive feedback. I hope you enjoy them as much as they did.
But if you were looking for a Q&A this month, you’re still in luck. My new book, “Dare to Love,” is filled with questions and answers. If you’re struggling to make Beyond Consequences work in your home, I know this book will be the key to peace and love in your home.
You have to change the pattern, in the
moment, in that emotional state.
___________
You have to get to what is real in
your life because if you don’t your
children will do it for you!
____________
Violence is the easiest way to find
significance and attention.
____________
Disappointment creates drive if you
don’t let it destroy you.
____________
You gotta go deeper — to the
bone marrow of the soul.
____________
Your children need you to know you’re
awesome so they can then rediscover
their awesomeness that was lost.
____________
Learning is the creation of a relationship.
____________
Whatever you focus on, you feel.
(Stop focusing only on the negative.)
____________
Just be yourself and be there.
____________
Strong relationships are built
by being vulnerable.
____________
Authenticity builds trust.
____________
If children can’t get attention
in a positive way, they’ll get
it in a negative way.
____________
Love needs to matter
more than respect.
____________
If you show up for your child
in a different state, he can
only be different.
____________
When you are in a loving state, you automatically do the right thing.
____________
Your children are not their behavior.
____________
The limits we experience are the limits
we impose on ourselves… we are
the ones who create them.
____________
Perfection is the lowest
standard any human can have.
____________
Your children are begging you
to break down your walls
so they can break down theirs.
____________
You have to understand the
power and potential of problems.
____________
Press on,
Heather T. Forbes, LCSW
Parent and Co-author of Beyond Consequences, Logic & Control
P.S. Check out this month’s Ask the Expert interview with C.C. Nuckols. Just click on the link to start listening. http://www.beyondconsequences.com/asktheexpert/ccnuckols/
Heather T. Forbes, LCSW has trained in the field of trauma and attachment with nationally recognized, first-generation attachment therapists since 1999. Co-author of "Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-based Approach for Helping Children With Severe Behaviors Vol. 1", author of Vol 2 as well as the new "Dare To Love", Heather lectures, consults, and coaches parents and professionals throughout the U.S., Canada, and the U.K.
Much of her experience and insight on understanding trauma, disruptive behaviors, and adoption related issues has come from her most important job, being the mother of her two children (both adopted as toddlers from Russia and both of whom had intense traumatic histories).